I wandered into a little cafe late afternoon. Walked up to the counter and ordered a peppermint hot chocolate. The girl at the till asked if I’d like a candycane in it.

Smiling I said, “sure. Thank you.”

That time of year again. I sigh. Christmas… The holidays always bring a mixed bag of emotions for me. Every year seems a little less magical as I get older. Especially since mom was gone. Dad going south to be warmer and my son grown and had a life of his own.

This year I decided to see what I could find on a little road trip northeast to nowhere in particular.

I paid the lady, took my hot chocolate and book to a back corner table near the window.

As I sat down I glanced around the cafe, I see I’m not alone. There is a woman at a corner table, alone too. She sees me, smiles then glances down at her book, just as I do.

I noticed a pair of elegant gloves beside her on the table. They have a beautiful plaid pattern on the cuff, they’re like mine.

She looks so content, reading from a leather bound book. It must be old. Or perhaps it’s worn leather jacket is showing how much she loves the story within the pages.

Ahhhh she has a candycane in her hot chocolate too, or perhaps she chose the peppermint mocha. This woman enjoyed the small things the holidays brought, like me.

Sitting there with her book in hand, sipping from her mug, she seemed happy. The twinkling chiristmas lights in the garland over her head and through the window she is sitting by I can see snow gently falling. I find it hard to focus on my own book and glance casually towards her. Yes, she seemed restless now, too.

I don’t think she is old, at least not much older than me, but she’s not really young either. I can see the silver and grey sprinkled along her temple and throughout her long auburn hair. It was wavy and styled so gracefully around her face.

I try not to be too obvious about my observing her as I notice she is dressed in simple black pants tucked into her winter boots. Her long wool winter coat drapped over the back of the chair opposite her but she still had on her beautiful checked black and red wool scarf that was wrapped elegantly around her shoulders.

Casually I turn the pages of my book trying to focus on it, I can’t help peaking up at her now and again. Trying not to look like I was staring I wonder what kind of life she has lived to look so contenet and peaceful while sitting alone, here, during the holidays. Whatever it was must have been an easy life. Blessed life, perhaps.

I hope I can portray a fraction of that elegnace and contentment when I’m older.

I doubt it though. It’s been a long life, not easy and sometimes really hard. But I try to keep a positive outlook.

Somedays, I felt like giving up and then there were days like today that I’m glad I didn’t.

This trip has been pleasant and even fun. Meeting new people, seeing new places. Definitely a wonderful experience even on my own.

As I sit reading, sipping my drink I can’t help wonder if the woman with the gloves is on a road trip too. Or maybe she lives in this town? She looks happy, just sitting there nibbling on a piece of candycane and reading her book.

What does it take to look so happy and have the aura of confidence like she carried? Must have been a good life so far.

I finish my hot chocolate and close up my book, ready to leave. Grabbing my winter coat from the chair I put it on. I glance up and notice the woman is also preparing to leave, too. Wonder if I said anything to her about how I admired her grace and elegance that I could see in her, if she’d be uncomfortable. Or maybe she’d be ok with the compliment. It was genuinely how I saw her.

As I stare at her she stared back at me. A surprised look coming across her face as if she knew me. Or maybe just shock that a stranger was staring. No, she definitely knew me. As I looked past her through the window, the snow catches my attention. It dawned on me that the woman I was admiring all this time. That beautiful, elegant, graceful woman… was me.